(LIBRARY OF CONGRESS. J 
Sfa.^ tywwttyo- # 

| UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, j' 
83 -^^ < %,^^>'^<^ < ^'^>'% < %>'%' < ^> ^•'^^■%.'^' < ^gil 




<^c^ 



C22*V 



TRANSFORMED; 



OR, THE 



HISTORY OF A RIVER, THIEF, 



BRIEFLY TOLD. 



nr 



PUBLISHED BY HIMSELF. 



, /Si 



Copyright, 1876, 

Bv 
Jeremiah McAuley. 




^i -^V_5 



TV 



CHAPTER I. 
CHILDHOOD AND YOUTH page 5 

CHAPTER II. 
GOING TO PRISON- - 11 

CHAPTER III. 
THE LOST SHEEP FOUND 15 

CHAPTER IV. 
SEARCHING FOR TRUTH 20 

CHAPTER V. 
BEHOLD, HE PRAYETH - 24 

CHAPTER VI. 
THE MORNING BREAKETH 28 

CHAPTER VII. 
WORK IN THE PRISON- - 32 



4 CONTENTS. 

CHAPTER VIII. 
OUTSIDE 36 

CHAPTER IX. 
MERCIES OF GOD 40 

CHAPTER X. 
ANOTHER NARROW ESCAPE 44 

CHAPTER XL 
A FRIEND IN NEED 47 

CHAPTER XII. 
SAVED 52 

CHAPTER XIII. 
UPS AND DOWNS- 55 

CHAPTER XIV. 
WORK FOR THE MASTER 60 

CHAPTER XV. 
WORD OF TESTIMONY- 65 

CHAPTER XVI. 
A HELPMEET IN THE LORD - 71 

CHAPTER XVII. 
PRESENT SALVATION- 76 



PREFACE. 



This little narrative is presented to the public 
with the single desire to magnify the grace of God. 
It is to show his mighty power in raising a soul 
dead in sin, and past all human hope of resurrection, 
to spiritual life. It is given, with few and trifling 
exceptions, as it fell from the lips of the " Trans- 
formed," and is condensed from a mass of strikingly 
interesting incidents which might have made a far 
more imposing volume. The design, however, has 
been to make a book sufficiently small and inex- 
pensive to be freely circulated, that it may go out 
as a message of encouragement to those who have 
no hope for themselves by reason of sin, and to 
Christians whose faith is often too weak to take 
hold of men and women so utterly cast down and 
bound by Satan. 

My own part of the work, though small, has 
been a sincere pleasure. As I have put the story 
into shape for the press, I have been led to admire 
the grace of God as manifested to this untaught 
and wicked man, and to recall the words of Jesus, 



6 PREFACE. 

"Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you, 
and ordained you, that ye should go and bring forth 
fruit, and that your fruit should remain." I have 
been taught, while preparing this simple biography, 
and during a three years' acquaintance with its 
subject, deep and sweet lessons of faith in work 
with the outcast and fallen, both men and women. 
No erring fellow-creature has sunk so low in grov- 
elling vice, but that now I believe, however my 
faith was formerly staggered, that Jesus is " able to 
save to the uttermost." And this is a lesson of 
priceless value to the Christian worker. Christ 
came not to call the righteous, but sinners to re- 
pentance ; and it may be said of the gospel-harden- 
ed, outwardly respectable sinners in these days, as 
our Lord said of the chief priests and Pharisees of 
his own time, "The publicans and the harlots go 
into the kingdom of God before you." 

It is my earnest prayer that the mission of this 
little volume may be one of gospel love and power, 
winning many a wretched, hopeless wanderer to the 
knowledge of the blessed Saviour Jesus Christ, 
"whose blood can make the foulest clean," and 
who alone is able to call a soul " out of darkness 
into his marvellous light." 

MRS. HELEN E. BROWN. 
New York, Dec. 7, 1875. 



TRANSFORMED 



CHAPTER I. 

CHILDHOOD AND YOUTH. 

" Our young life had dark beginning, 
Helpless and alone we lay ; 
Knowing only sin and sorrow, 

Till the Saviour passed that way." 

I do not attempt this record of my lite 
from any feeling of vain-glory, or any craving 
for notoriety. Neither is it because I have 
had a remarkable history. I have been a 
great sinner, and have found Jesus a great 
Saviour, and this is why I would tell my 
story, that others may be led to adore and 
seek the blessed Friend who saved, and has 
thus far kept me by his grace. 

I was born in Ireland. Our family was 



8 TRANSFORMED. 

broken up by sin, for my father was a coun- 
terfeiter, and left home to escape the law, be- 
fore I knew him. I was placed at a very 
early age in the family of my grandmother, 
who was a devout Romanist. My first recol- 
lections of her are of her counting her beads, 
and kissing the floor for penance. I would 
take the opportunity while she was prostrated 
upon her face, to throw things at her head, in 
my mischievous play, and when she rose from 
her knees, it was to curse and swear at me. 
At such times I can distinctly remember 
thinking, though I could not have formed 
the thought into words, " What sort of reli- 
gion is this that requires such foolish wor- 
ship, and allows such sinful ways ?" I can 
trace my infidelity to Rome to just these in- 
cidents. 

I was never taught or sent to school, but 
left to have my own way; to roam about in 
idleness, doing mischief continually, and suf- 
fering from the cruel and harsh treatment of 
those who had the care of me. 



CHILDHOOD AND YOUTH. 9 

At the age of thirteen I was sent to this 
country, to the care of a married sister in 
New York city. Here I ran errands in the 
family, and assisted my brother-in-law in his 
business, and soon, by the practice of little 
tricks, became well used to dishonesty, and 
was as great a rogue as one of my years 
could be. After a while I felt I could live by 
my own wits, and left my sister's home to 
take care of myself. I took board in a fam- 
ily in Water street, where were two young 
men with whom I associated myself in busi- 
ness. I earned what I could, and stole the 
rest, to supply my daily wants. 

We had a boat, by means of which we 
boarded vessels in the night, stealing what- 
ever we could lay our hands on. Here I be- 
gan my career as a river-thief. In the day- 
time we went up into the city and sold our ill- 
gotten goods, and with the proceeds dressed 
up, and then spent our time, as long as our 
money lasted, in the vile dens of Water street, 
practising all sorts of wickedness. Here I 



io TRANSFORMED. 

learned to be a prize-fighter, and by degrees, 
rapid degrees, rose through all the grades of 
vice and crime, till I became a terror and 
nuisance in the Fourth ward. 



GOING TO PRISON. 



CHAPTER II. 

GOING TO PRISON. 

" Oh, the darkness, how it thickens, 
Like the brooding of despair ! 
And my soul within me sickens— 
God, in mercy, hear my prayer!" 

I was only nineteen years of age when I 
was arrested for highway robbery — a child in 
years, but a man in sin. I knew nothing of 
the criminal act which was charged to my 
account; but the rumsellers and inhabitants 
of the Fourth ward hated me for all my evii 
ways, and "were glad to get rid of me. So 
they swore the robbery on me, and I could n't 
help myself. I had no' friends, no advocate 
at court, (it is a bad thing, sinners, not to 
have an advocate at court,) and without any 
just cause I was sentenced to fifteen years in 
Stateprison. I burned with vengeance ; but 
what could I do ? I was handcuffed, and sent 
in the cars to Sing-Sing. 



i2 ■ TRANSFORMED. 

That ride was the saddest hour of my life. 
I looked back on my whole past course, at all 
my hardships, my misery and sins, and gladly 
would I have thrown myself out before the 
advancing train, and ended my life. It was 
not sorrow for sin that possessed me, but a 
heavy weight seemed to press me down when 
I thought of the punishment I had got to 
suffer for my wrong-doings, and an indignant, 
revengeful feeling for the injustice of my sen- 
tence. Fifteen years of hard labor in a prison 
to look forward to, and all for a crime I was 
as innocent of as the babe unborn. I knew 
I had done enough to condemn me, if it were 
known ; but others, as bad as I, were at lib- 
erty, and I was suffering the penalty for one 
who was at that hour roaming at will, glory- 
ing, in his lucky escape from punishment, and 
caring nothing for the unhappy dog who was 
bearing it in his stead. How my heart 
swelled with rage, and then sank like lead, as 
I thought of my helplessness in the hands of 
the law, without a friend in the world. 



GOING TO PRISON. 13 

I concluded, however, before I reached the 
end of that short journey, that my best way 
was to be obedient to prison rules, do the 
best I could under the circumstances, and 
trust that somebody would be raised up to 
help me. 

When I arrived at the prison — I shall never 
forget it — the first thing that attracted my 
attention was the sentence over the door: 
" The way of transgressors is hard." Though 
I could not read very well, I managed to spell 
that out. It was a familiar sentence, which 
I had heard a great many times. All thieves 
and wicked people know it well, and they 
know, too, that it is out of the Bible. It is a 
well-worn proverb in all the haunts of vice, 
and one confirmed by daily experience. And 
how strange it is that, knowing so well that 
the way is hard, the transgressors will still go 
in it. 

But God was more merciful to me than 
man. His pure eyes had seen all my sin, 
and yet he pitied and loved me, and stretched 



I4 TRANSFORMED. 

out his hand to save me. And his wonderful 
way of doing it was to shut me up in a cell 
within those heavy stone walls. There's 
many a one beside me who will have cause to 
thank God for ever and ever that he was shut 
up in a prison. 



_ 



THE LOST SHEEP FOUND. 



CHAPTER III. 

THE LOST SHEEP FOUND. 

" There were ninety-and-nine that safely lay 
In the shelter of the fold ; 
But one was out on the hills away, 
Far off from the gates of gold ; 
• Away on the mountains wild and bare, 
Away from the tender Shepherd's care." 

I was put to the carpet-weaving business, 
and for two years not a word could be said 
against me. All the keepers and guards 
spoke well of me. I minded my work, and 
was quiet and orderly. I used to say my 
prayer — the Lord's Prayer — every day, from 
a feeling that it was right to say it, and that 
in some way or other it would do me good. 
I tried to learn to read and write, and im- 
proved very much, more especially in reading. 
Then I got cheap novels and read, to pass 
away the time. I read many and many of 
them. It was all the recreation I had, and 



1 6 TRANSFORMED. 

diverted my mind from my dreary surround- 
ings. I was supplied with them constantly, 
and, in consequence, my head was filled 
with low and wicked thoughts. I took a 
fancy, from some of the remarkable stories 
I read, that I might by some good fortune, 
by-and-by, effect my escape from the prison, 
and then my heart would fill up with mur- 
derous intentions toward the man who put 
me in. 

After this I was sick, and suffered a good 
deal for two or three years, and became at 
times uneasy and intractable. Then I had 
to suffer severe punishment ; but punishment 
never did me a particle of good, it only made 
me harder and harder. 

I had been in the prison four or five years, 
when, one Sunday morning, I went with the 
rest to service in the chapel. I was moody 
and miserable. As I took my seat, I raised 
my eyes carelessly to the platform, and who 
should I see there beside the chaplain but a 
man named Orville Gardner, who had been 



THE L OST SHEEP EO UND. 1 7 

for years a confederate in sin. "Awful Gard- 
ner" was the name by which I had always 
known him. Since my imprisonment he had 
been converted, and was filled with desire to 
come to the prison, that he might tell the 
glad story to the prisoners. I had not heard 
he was coming, and could not have been more 
surprised if an angel had come down from 
heaven. I knew him at the first glance, 
although he was so greatly changed from 
his old rough dress and appearance. After 
the first look I began to question in my 
mind if it was he after all, and thought I 
must be mistaken; but the moment he 
spoke I was sure, and my attention was 
held fast. 

He said he did not feel that he belonged 
on the platform, where the ministers of God 
and good men stood to preach the gospel to 
the prisoners; he was not worthy of such a 
place. . So he came clown and stood on the 
floor in front of the desk, that he might be 
among the men. He told them it was only 



1 8 TRANSFORMED. 

a little while since he had taken off the 
stripes which they were then wearing; and 
while he was talking his tears fairly rained 
down out of his eyes. Then he knelt down 
and prayed, and sobbed and cried till I do 
not believe there was a dry eye in the whole 
crowd. Tears filled my eyes, and I raised 
my hand slowly to wipe them off, for I was 
ashamed to have my companions or the 
guards see me weep; but how I wished I was 
alone, or that it was dark, that I might give 
way to my feelings unobserved. I knew this 
man was no hypocrite. We had been asso- 
ciated in many a dark deed and sinful pleas- 
ure. I had heard oaths and curses, vile and 
angry words from his mouth, and I knew he 
could not talk as he did then unless some 
great, wonderful change had come to him. I 
devoured every word that fell from his lips, 
though I could not understand half I heard. 
One sentence, however, impressed me deeply, 
which he said was a verse from the Bible. 
The Bible ! I knew there was such a book, 



THE L OST SHEET FO UND. 1 9 

that people pretended it was a message from 
God; but I had never cared for it, or read a 
word in it. But now God's time had come, 
and he was going to show me the treasures 
that were hid in that precious book. 



TRANSFORMED. 



CHAPTER IV. 

SEARCHING FOR TRUTH. 

"This is the field where hidden lies 
The pearl of price unknown ; 
The merchant is divinely wise 
Who makes the pearl his own." 

I went back to my cell. How dreary is 
Sunday in prison ! After the morning ser- 
vice in the chapel, the prisoners are marched 
back to their cells, taking their plate of din- 
ner with them as they pass the dining-hall, 
and the rest of the day is spent in solitude. 
Oh, those long, dismal hours ! I had gener- 
ally contrived to have a novel on hand, but 
that day I had none. What I had heard was 
ringing in my ears, and the thought pos- 
sessed me to find the verse which had so 
struck me. Every prison cell is supplied 
with a Bible ; but, alas ! few of them are used. 
Mine I had never touched since the day I 
entered my narrow apartment, and laid it 



SEARCHING FOR TRUTH. 21 

away in the ventilator. I took it down, beat 
the dust from it, and opened it. But where 
to turn to find the words I wanted I knew 
not. There was nothing to do but to begin 
at the beginning, and read till I came to 
them. On and on I read. How interested 
I grew! It seemed better than any novel I 
had ever read, and I could scarcely leave it 
to go to sleep. I became so fascinated, that 
from that day on, it was my greatest delight. 
I was glad when I was released from work, 
that I might get hold of my Bible; and night 
after night, when daylight was gone, I stood 
up by my grated door to read by the dim 
light which came from the corridor. I had 
supposed it to be a dry, dead thing — a book 
only fit for priests and saints, but now, when- 
ever I could get a chance to communicate 
with my mates in the workshop. I told them 
that it was a " splendid thing, that Bible." 

I never found that verse. I had forgotten 
it in my new interest in the book. But I 
found a good many verses that made me 



22 TRANSFORMED. 

stop and think. At last I came to i Timo- 
thy, fourth chapter, which begins in this way : 
" Now the Spirit speaketh expressly, that in 
the latter times some shall depart from the 
faith, giving heed to seducing spirits, and 
doctrines of devils ; speaking lies in hypocri- 
sy ; having their conscience seared with a hot 
iron ; forbidding to marry, and commanding 
to abstain from meats, which God hath crea- 
ted to be received with thanksgiving of them 
which believe and know the truth." I threw 
down the book, and kicked it about my cell. 
"The vile heretics," I cried; "there's their 
lies. I always heard the old book was a pack 
of lies. That 's the way they hold us Catho- 
lics up." 

Something seemed to whisper to me, "Go 
get a Catholic Bible, and then you can prove 
this to be false." I could n't get rid of the 
thought. I took my first chance to go to 
the library and ask for a Catholic Bible. 
They looked at me pretty sharp, as though 
they would like to understand what I was 



SEARCHING FOR TRUTH. 23 

driving at ; but they gave me what I wanted, 
and I took it to my cell. Eagerly I turned 
to that chapter. There they were, the very 
same words, "forbidding to marry," and "com- 
manding to abstain from meats." But there 
were notes in the margin, which boxed it up 
so, that my suspicions were at once aroused. 
I said, " It surely is the word of God, and 
they are trying to get out of it." I turned 
to various parts, to Kings, Isaiah, and other 
books, and I found that the words in both 
were almost the same, the meaning was the 
same always, and I was in despair. Then I 
read the whole book through again, and liked 
it better the second time than I did the first. 
The book of Revelation particularly aston- 
ished me. I tried to believe, but I could not 
understand it. 



24 TRANSFORMED. 



CHAPTER V. 

BEHOLD, HE PR A YETH 

" I cannot, in my sore dismay, 
E'en lift my eyes to thee ; 
But trembling bow, dear Lord, and wait 
Till thou shalt speak for me." 

I was resting one nisrht from reading, 
walking up and down and thinking what a 
change religion had made in Gardner, when 
I began to have a burning desire to have the 
same. I could not get rid of it; but what 
could I do? Something within me said 
" Pray." I could n't frame a prayer. The 
voice said, " Do n't you remember the prayer 
of the publican, ' God be merciful to me a 
sinner' ?" I thought of my own religion, the 
Roman-catholic faith, in which I had been 
brought up, and I asked, " Why can't I be 
good in that ?" " But that will not save me 
as Gardner's does him," I thought ; " it does 
not keep me free from my sins." There was 



BEHOLD, HE PRAYETH. 25 

a struggle in my mind. " If I send for the 
priest," I said to myself, " he will tell me I 
must do penance, say so many prayers, and 
do something for mortification, and such as 
that. If I ask the chaplain, he will tell me 
to be sorry for my sins, and cry to God for 
forgiveness. Both can't be right." The voice 
within said, " Go to God ; he will tell you 
what is right." 

What a struggle I went through! I 
knew I ought to pray ; but if there had been 
ten thousand people there I could n't have 
been more ashamed to do it than I was there 
all alone. I felt myself blushing. Every sin 
stared me in the face. I recollected the 
" Whosoever " in the Bible. " That means 
you," said the inward voice. " But I 'm so 
wicked," I urged ; " everything but a murderer, 
and that many a time in my will." The 
struggle did not seem all my own ; it was as 
if God was fighting the ckvil for me. To 
every thought that came up there came a 
verse of the Scripture. I fell on my knees, 
4 



26 TRANSFORMED. 

and was so ashamed I jumped up again. I 
fell on my knees again, and cried out for help, 
and then, as ashamed as before, I rose again. 
I put it off for that time and went to bed. 

This conflict went on for three or four 
weeks. It was fearful. I wonder now at the 
long-suffering mercy of my God. I wonder 
that the Holy Spirit was not grieved to de- 
part from me for ever. But at last the Lord 
sent a softness and tenderness into my soul, 
and I shed many tears. Then I cried unto 
the Lord, and began to read the Bible on my 
knees. 

The Sunday services seemed to do me no 
good. They were dry and dead to me. Once 
in a while a man full of the Holy Ghost 
preached for us, and at such times I got a 
little help. About that date Miss D be- 
gan to visit the prison, and I was sent for 
one day to meet her in the library. This 
young lady had learned that I was seeking 
the Saviour, and had asked to see me. She 
talked with me, and then knelt down to pray. 



BEHOLD, HE PRAYETH. 27 

I felt ashamed, but I knelt beside her. I 
looked through my fingers and watched her. 
I saw her tears fall. An awe I cannot de- 
scribe fell on me. It seemed dreadful to me, 
the prayer of that holy woman. It made 
my sins rise up till they looked to me as if 
they rose clean up to the throne of God, and 
it appeared to me as if they troubled God, 
they rose up so high. What should I do? 
Oh, what can a poor sinner do when there 
is nothing between him and God, but a life 
of dark, terrible sin ? 



28 TRANSFORMED. 

CHAPTER VI. 

THE MORNING BREAKETH. 

"I heard the voice of Jesus say 
' Come unto me and rest ; 
Lay down, thou weary one, lay down 
Thy head upon my breast.' " 

That night I fell on my knees on the 
hard stone-floor of my cell, resolved to stay 
there, whatever might happen, till I found 
forgiveness. I was desperate. I felt just 
like the words of the hymn, 

" Perhaps he will admit my plea, 
Perhaps will hear my prayer, 
But if I perish I will pray, 
And perish only there." 

I prayed, and then I stopped; I prayed 
again, and stopped; but still I continued 
kneeling. My knees were rooted to those 
cold stones. My eyes were closed, and my 
hands tightly clasped, and I was determined 
I would stay so till morning, till I was called 






THE MORNING BREAKETH. 29 

to my work ; " and then," said I to myself, " if 
I get no relief, I will never, never pray again." 
I felt that I might die, but I did n't care for 
that. 

All at once it seemed as if something su- 
pernatural was in my room. I was afraid to 
open my eyes. I was in an agony, and the 
sweat rolled off my face in great drops. Oh, 
how I longed for God's mercy! Just then, 
in the very height of my distress, it seemed 
as if a hand was laid upon my head, and 
these words came to me : " My son, thy sins 
which are many are forgiven." I do not 
know if I heard a voice, yet the words were 
distinctly spoken. Oh, the precious Christ! 
How plainly I saw him, lifted on the cross 
for my sins ! What a thrill went through me. 
I jumped from my knees; I paced up and 
down my cell. A heavenly light seemed to 
fill it ; a softness and a perfume like the fra- 
grance of sweetest flowers. I did not know 
if I was living or not. I clapped my hands 
and shouted, " Praise God ! Praise God !" 



3 o TRANSFORMED. 

One of the guards was passing along the 
corridor, and called out, " What 's the mat- 
ter ?" " I 've found Christ," I answered ; " my 
sins are all forgiven. Glory to God!" He 
took out a paper from his pocket and wrote 
the number of my cell, and threatened to re- 
port me in the morning. But I did n't care 
for that. My soul was all taken up with my 
great joy. But the next morning nothing 
happened to me, and I think the Lord made 
him forget it. What a nisjht that was ! I 
shall surely never forget the time when the 
Lord appeared as my gracious Deliverer 
from sin. 

From that time life was all new to me. 
Work was nothing; hard fare nothing; scowls 
and harsh words nothing. I was happy, for 
Jesus was my friend ; my sins were washed 
away, and my heart was full of love and 
thanksgiving. I hated every sinful way. I 
had formerly smoked, but something within 
now said it was wrong, and I gave it up. 

And the Lord besan to use me in the 



THE MORNING BREAKETH. 31 

prison, among my fellow-convicts. A great 
work was commenced there, and spread from 
cell to cell. The prisoners began to read their 
Bibles, to call upon God, and to praise the 
name of Jesus. 



32 TRANSFORMED. 



CHAPTER VII. 

WORK IN THE PRISON 

" Then will I tell to sinners round 
What a dear Saviour I have found ; 
I '11 point to Thy redeeming blood, 
And say, ' Behold the way to God !' " 

Jack Dare was the first man I began to 
pray for. There was a revolt in the prison 
about that time, and he was one of the lead- 
ers. This revolt occurred some time before 
my conversion, but I had no hand in it. 

Jack was in the same workshop with me, 
and was quite a favorite. The convicts 
often paired off in friendships, and he and I 
went together. If either of us had any little 
luxury we shared it with the other, as chil- 
dren would do; and when I got salvation I 
wanted to share that with him. I approached 
him on several occasions with the subject, 
but he repulsed me with sneers. He seemed 



WORK IN THE PRISON. 35 

to think I was playing a bold game to get out 
of prison ; but he learned at last that I was 
in earnest. 

He found me several times weeping and 
poring over my Bible. Once he lifted his 
hand to strike me, and even spit at me ; but 
when I told him that I had no resentment, 
and could stand it for Jesus' sake, he was 
touched. That astonished him. I said noth- 
ing more for a week, and he seemed to be 
srettin^ worse all the time ; but I felt sure the 
Spirit of God was striving with him. I kept 
on praying with strong crying and tears, and 
I knew God would save him. 

One day he told me he had been praying, 
but it seemed dreadful to him to pray. I 
knew all about that from my own experience. 
Not long after this, as he came out of his cell 
one morning to go to work, I caught sight of 
his face, and it was all lit up. He was at the 
head of the column, and I near the foot ; he 
just glanced at me with a smile, and gave an 
upward turn of his eye to heaven, and then I 



34 TRANSFORMED. 

knew it was all right with him. I could 
scarcely keep from shouting. 

The first one he told the good news to was 
the keeper. " Jack," said he, " I 'm glad you 've 
got religion." It was not that he cared for 
religion, but he was afraid of Jack, he was 
such a desperate character, and now he knew 
he would have no more trouble with him. 

All the time I had to work for Christ was 
about half an hour each day, and I improved 
it. This was when the regular keeper was 
relieved, and we were allowed then to talk. 
I had my men all picked out, and I went 
from one to the other, saying the few earnest 
words I could say. Several of these were 
converted. One or two wandered away when 
they left the prison, having no Christian friend 
to look after them. Since that time they have 
come into the Helping Hand, and have been 
sweetly restored. 

About two years I went on thus. My faith 
was so simple, I felt the Lord would give me 
anything reasonable I might ask. And I 



WORK IN THE PRISON. 35 

never had a doubt until after I came out of 
prison and mingled with Christians, and their 
wavering, unstable, half-and-half faith stag- 
gered me. My cell seemed to me all that 
time like heaven, and I cared very little wheth- 
er I ever came out of it or not. The love of 
Christ was so abounding it drowned every 
trouble. No one could insult me. If my 
comrades abused me, I felt that I could pray 
for and forgive them. 

After this I was led to pray for my liberty. 
At first I felt that the desire to be set free 
was of the devil. But I asked the Lord about 
it, and he gave me the assurance that my de- 
sire should be granted. And it was ; I receiv- 
ed a pardon from the governor after having 
served about half my time, seven years and 
six months. 



3 6 TRANSFORMED. 



CHAPTER VIII. 

OUTSIDE. 

" In the way a thousand snares 
Lie, to take us unawares ; 
Satan, with malicious art, 
Watches each unguarded part." ! 

When I got out of prison I was as lonely 
as I had been in my cell. I could not go 
back to my old haunts and companions, and 
I knew no others. If I had found a single 
Christian friend it would have saved me years 
of misery. And here I must say that it does 
not seem to me right to turn men out of pris- 
on, and make no provision for their future 
well-doing. Many a poor fellow has been 
driven to crime, and back again to his prison 
cell, for want of kindly counsel and direc- 
tion when he first came out a^ain into the 
world. 

I wanted to do right, to please God. The 
first thing I did was to inquire for a prayer, 



OUTSIDE. 37 

meeting. I was told of one ; but when I got 
to the door I was afraid to enter. I had never 
been to a Protestant place of worship, and 
nobody invited me in. I kept steadily away 
from the Fourth ward, lest I should be tempt- 
ed by old associates. Most unfortunately the 
only friend I found directed me to a lager-bier 
saloon to board. Lager-bier had come up 
since I went to prison, and I did not know 
what it was. They told me it was a harmless 
drink, wholesome and good, and simple as 
root-beer. I drank, and that began my down- 
fall. My head got confused. The old appe- 
tite was awakened. From that time I drank 
it every day, and it was not long before I went 
from that to stronger liquors. 

The night I stopped praying I shall never 
forget. I felt as wretched as I did the day I 
went to prison. And now began a career of 
sin and misery which I cannot fully describe. 
Satan got completely the upper hand of me. 
The dear Saviour who had been so gracious 
and so precious to me in the prison I let go. 



3 3 TRANSFORMED. 

How I wonder now that he did not let me 
go. But he did not. 

I had obtained work in a large hat shop. 
The workmen had a strike, and I was one of 
the ringleaders. We were all dismissed, and 
thus I was thrown out of employment. Then, 
it being war time, I went into the bounty 
business. Rascally business, that. I would 
pick men up wherever I could find them, get 
them half drunk, and coax them to enlist. 
They received the bounty, and I had a pre- 
mium on each of half the amount. I made a 
great deal of money in this way, which I spent 
freely. I became a sportsman, went often to 
the races, and my downward course was 
greatly quickened. 

I got in with a man, who has since died of 
delirium tremens, and went boating on the 
river. We would buy stolen goods of the 
sailors, compel them to enlist on fear of being 
arrested, and we took the bounty. We went 
on for some time in this thieving, racing, spec- 
ulating, and bounty business. We kept a 



OUTSIDE. 39 

recruiting office in New York, and another 
in Brooklyn, and found plenty to do, and 
might have grown rich if I had saved what I 
made. 

But all this time my conscience was far 
from easy. I remembered the days at Sing- 
Sing when the glory of the Lord shone in 
my cell, and I was shouting with joy for sins 
forgiven, and improving every moment to 
win souls to Christ. I knew I was all wrong, 
and yet I could not stop. I seemed to be 
on a down track, and rushing at furious speed. 
When I felt the most troubled I would go to 
drinking, and try to drown conscience in a 
glass of whiskey. 



4 o TRANSFORMED. 



CHAPTER IX. 

MERCIES OF GOD. 

" But the love of God is hroader 

Than the measure of man's mind; 
And the heart of the Eternal 
Is most wonderfully kind." 

After the war was over I went to boat- 
ing exclusively, buying and selling smuggled 
and stolen goods. This is a common busi- 
ness among sailors and captains. I gave 
counterfeit money for the goods, until I 
became well known for this, and then I 
had to give it up, for no one would steal 
for me when they found I gave them nothing 
for it. From this I became a river-thief, 
boarding vessels at night and doing the steal- 
ing myself. And oh, how many narrow es- 
capes from death have I had while engaged 
in this wicked business ! 

One night we were out on the river in 
our boat, looking for chances. We had been 



Si? "li 

' '! V I 1 ".,". :'{ 




MERCIES OF GOD. 41 

disappointed in some of our plans at Green 
Point, and pulled down to the Williamsburgh 
ferry, where we fastened our craft to the 
Idaho, one of the regular ferryboats, to be 
towed across to the New York side. We 
had steamed out a little way into the river, 
when the Idaho was discovered to be on fire. 
It seemed but the work of a moment from the 
first alarm, till the whole boat was in flames 
The greatest confusion prevailed among the 
crew and passengers. We let go as soon as 
we could, for fear we should be swamped; 
but before we could push off two men jumped 
in. We rowed them to the shore and then 
came back, not to save life, but to get booty. 
Another ferryboat came alongside and rescu- 
ed about forty of the passengers, but there 
were ten or twelve who threw themselves into 
the water, and these we picked up. We 
saved one Christian woman. We held on to 
her as she clenched the sides of the boat with 
her hands. The whole scene was terrific. 

The fire raging, the screams of the perishing, 
6 



42 TRANSFORMED. 

the struggles of the poor creatures in the 
water, impressed my mind deeply with the 
thought of the last day and the fiery hell to 
which I knew the sinner must go. And yet 
God used us wicked people in the midst of 
all this terror and confusion, to save his chil- 
dren. My partner wanted me to let the peo- 
ple go, and pick up the cloaks, hats, and 
various things that were floating in the river ; 
but I said, " No ; I have n't got so low as that 
yet." And I thank God now he helped me 
do what he did, and get all those poor people 
safe to the land. 

Another night in Brooklyn we stole a 
rope-fender off a ship, the whole cost of 
which was not more than a dollar and a half, 
and yet for that we could run such fearful 
risks. The captain of the vessel saw us, and 
seizing his revolver fired at us, once, twice, 
four times. The balls came so close that I 
could feel them as they whizzed past my 
head, but they did not hit. God preserved 
me that time also ; for what ? 



MERCIES OF GOD. 43 

After I got round the wharf and out of 
danger, I felt frightened more than before. 
Something whispered, " If that bullet had hit 
you where would you have been?" and the 
response of my conscience was, " In hell." 

All the time I was prosecuting this busi- 
ness, in my sober moments I had a longing 
to be a better man, to lead a sober life ; but I 
felt that after all the joy and peace I had be- 
fore had, I never could come to God again. 
Satan always quoted that text to me, " For 
it is impossible for those who were once en- 
lightened, and have tasted of the heavenly 
gift, and were made partakers of the Holy 
Ghost, ... If they shall fall away, to renew 
them again unto repentance." So to quell 
these memories and convictions, I kept all 
the time under the influence of liquor. If 
any one had spoken to me kindly and Chris- 
tianly at that time, it would have subdued 
me, but no one came near the poor, wretched 
outcast. 



44 TRANSFORMED. 

CHAPTER X. 

ANOTHER NARROW ESCAPE. 

" Sinners, turn, why will ye die ? 
God, my Saviour, asks you, Why ?" 

One night we went over to Brooklyn on 
a plundering expedition. I was very drunk. 
There was a certain vessel at the wharf which 
we had our eye upon, but I was too intoxica- 
ted to do my share of the work, so I stayed in 
the boat while my partner boarded the ship. 
By some mishap I fell into the water. The 
boat went one way, and the eddy carried me 
in another direction, and out from the wharf. 
I went down and touched bottom, and rose 
to the surface. Again I sank and rose. The 
third time, the thought came to me, "This 
is the last, and now you are lost — you are 
drowned." Hell seemed opening under my 
feet, and I fancied I could hear the wails and 
shrieks of the lost. Then something said, 



ANOTHER NARROW ESCAPE. 45 

11 Call on God." But how could I ? I felt it 
was too mean ; I had sinned too fearfully. 
But I did call, and the Lord heard me. I 
seemed to be lifted right up to the surface of 
the water, and the boat which had drifted off 
in another direction was brought right to me, 
so that I could get hold of it. I can't tell 
how it was, but : it always seemed to me a 
miracle. The water had sobered me, and 
after I got hold of the boat I managed to get 
in. After I was in, something said to me, 
" God has saved you for the last time. If 
you ever go out on the river again, God will 
let you drop into hell and be lost." It was a 
very clear, strong impression on my mind, 
but instead of softening me it made me 
angry. 

I took my partner into the boat without 
a word. We rowed across the river, and I 
went home and dried my clothes. What a 
load of guilt was upon me. I could think of 
nothing else to do, and to rid myself of it I 
drank, and drank, and drank. But no amount 



46 TRANSFORMED. 

of liquor could drown that inward voice. In 
spite of all, I would have gone out again, 
but my partner met with an accident which 
prevented his going, so, notwithstanding 
my desires, I did not. We had no money; 
I could n't borrow, and I was actually in 
want. 

This may seem strange to some; but while 
we made a good deal of money in our wicked 
life, we laid up nothing, but spent as fast as 
we got it. It was the wages of iniquity, and 
as the Bible says, " put into a bag with holes," 
so that it did us no good. 

The sting of conscience remained with 
me, and a strange desire to be out of this 
wicked business, and in some honorable em- 
ployment. It seemed wonderful that such 
feelings should so haunt me all the time ; but 
now I can see that it was the convicting 
power of the Holy Spirit that was pursuing 
me, and would not let me go until I had been 
brought back from my wanderings. 



A FRIEND IN NEED. 



CHAPTER XI 



A FRIEND IN NEED. 



47 



" Pull for the shore, sailor, pull for the shore ; 
Heed not the rolling waves, but bend to the oar ? 
Safe in the life-boat, sailor, cling to self no more ; 
Leave the poor old stranded wreck, and pull for the shore !" 

The John Allen excitement had just com- 
menced in Water street, and the good Chris- 
tian people were going through the ward to 
bring in the sinners to the meetings. I was 
sitting in my room one of these wretched 
days, when I heard a stranger in the hall be- 
low. The landlady was ill up stairs, and the 
person who had entered came up. Just out- 
side my door I heard a pleasant voice say to 
her, " Do you love Jesus ?" That voice — 
those words! It seemed like long-forgotten 
music. It recalled the past happy days when 
I had known the love of Jesus, and my heart 
was deeply touched. 



48 TRANSFORMED. 

" No, indade, do I love Jesus ; and who is 
he ?" was the rough answer I heard. 

"My good woman, and don't you know 
who Jesus is ?" and then the person passed on 
to the top of the house, to see another inmate 
of the house, whom he had been sent to visit, 
and the landlady came into my room. 

" Who is that ?" said I. 

" Oh, it 's one of them tract pedlars," said 
she. 

" Why do n't you treat the man with re- 
spect?" said I. 

She was silent, but I thought at once that 
perhaps this man, whoever he might be, might 
get me a job of honest work; so I went out 
and waited on the landing till he came down 
stairs. He saw me ; but I was a frightful 
looking object, and I think he was a little 
timid at facing me. However, I accosted 
him, and he told me to come down stairs and 
he would talk with me. I had a colored shirt 
on, an old pair of pants, and my hair was 
cropped pretty close. I think now I must 



A FRIEND IN NEED. 49 

have been a formidable-looking object. I 
don't wonder the missionary didn't want to 
talk with me on the landing, but preferred to 
have me below on the pavement. 

We walked out together, up the street, till 
we came to the New Bowery. As we ap- 
proached the Howard Mission he invited me 
in. I did n't know until then that there was 
such a place. A gentleman there met us, 
and spoke to me very kindly. They both 
said that if I would sign the pledge they 
would see what they could do for me. The 
idea struck me as it never had done before, 
that a drunkard like me couldn't get work, 
and there was no hope of decent employment 
unless I did reform. So I signed it. But I 
told them I should n't be likely to keep it, that 
I had taken it before, and broken it. I want- 
ed to be honest, but I knew I couldn't keep 
it. " Try it again," they both said, " and ask 
God to help you." "Well, to please you, I 
will," I said. 

I went right home from there and told my 
7 



5 o TRANSFORMED. 

partner what I had done. How he laughed. 
« You take the pledge !" he said. He had a 
bottle of gin in his hand at that moment, and 
turning out a glass offered it to me. " Tom," 
said I, " I have just taken the pledge." But I 
drank it; and as I put down the glass, I 
added, " Now this is the last drink I shall 
ever take." "Yes, till you get the next," 
said he. 

Just at that moment in walked the mission- 
ary. I kept as far away from him as I could, 
lest he should detect it in my breath. I think 
if he had asked me I should have honestly 
confessed what I had done. But he did not. 
He only invited me to go out and walk with 
him. I went ; and as we walked I told him I 
was going out on the river that night, for we 
were dead broke, I was hungry, and money 
we must have. 

He looked sad and troubled. " Jerry," said 
he, " before you shall do that, I '11 take this 
coat off my back and pawn it, and give you 
the money." 



A FRIEND IN NEED. 51 

I looked at the coat and saw it was worn 
and old, and I was touched to the heart. It 
was as much as I could do to keep the tears 
out of my eyes. " Here 's this good man," I 
said to myself, " poor, as I know he must be, 
willing to take the coat off his back and pawn 
it to keep me from doing wrong." I do n't 
know as he saw the effect of his words, but I 
hung my head. 

" I will give you a text out of the Bible," 
said he. " ' Seek ye first the kingdom of God 
and his righteousness, and all other things 
shall be added unto you.' " 

I remember my answer : " I '11 take that 
text and trust God." 

Then he went away, and in a little while he 
brought me fifty cents. I got something to 
eat, and we did not go out boating. 



52 TRANSFORMED. 

CHAPTER XII. 

SA VED. 

" Fight manfully onward, 
Dark passions subdue, 
Look ever to Jesus, 

He '11 carry you through." 

The next day as Tom and I, with Maria, 
now my beloved wife and helper, and Nellie, 
the two girls, with whom Tom and I were in- 
timate, were in our room together, the mis- 
sionary with some Christian ladies came in 
to see us. They talked with us a while, and 
then said they would pray. I wished they 
would n't, but I had not the courage to say 
so, and they went on. Those prayers had a 
wonderful effect upon me. 

Day after day my new friend followed me 
up, and so closely that I could get no chance 
to drink. " Tom," I would say, " I 'm going 
to turn over a new leaf." But Tom would 
answer, " Will the Lord come down from 
heaven to give you a beefsteak ?" The mis- 



SA VED. 53 

sionary would often repeat the text he had 
given me, but Tom wouldn't accept it. I 
felt, however, that I could. I had had some 
experience which he had not, and I believed 
the word of the Lord. 

Soon after this we were invited to the 
missionary's house to take tea. He lent me 
a coat to wear. After tea they had singing 
and prayer. I cried and cried. 

"Pray for yourself," said he, "and God 
will save you." 

" I do n't know how," I said ; " I can't put 
the words together." It was n't that I had 
forgotten all about praying; but after I had 
sinned so fearfully, I felt afraid to utter such 
solemn words. 

" Pray the prayer of the publican," some 
one cried ; ' God be merciful to me a sinner.' " 

I prayed it. My heart was all broken, 
and I repeated the words over and over. 

" Put in ' For Jesus' sake,' " said the mis- 
sionary. 

So I put that in, and oh, the joy that 



54 TRANSFORMED. 

came into my heart; not like the first time, 
but more calm and peaceful. 

" I am saved," I cried ; " Jesus has saved 
me." 

Oh, the joy and excitement of that even- 
ing! I shall never forget it. These good 
people had come down into the Fourth ward 
to labor among the very lowest of low and 
wicked men and women, and God had given 
them a trophy in me, one of the hardest cases 
in the ward. How their faith was strength- 
ened. 

After that the missionary used often to 
walk round with me, his arm in mine. This 
was a great help to me, for all my old com- 
panions had heard of my conversion, and it 
was such a strange event that they would 
shout after me. So it was a protection to be 
with some one whom they truly respected. 
It is not so much of an event now for a noto- 
rious sinner to be converted in Water street. 
The wonders of Gods grace have been greatly 
multiplied within the few last year. 



UPS AND DOWNS. 55 



CHAPTER XIII. 

UPS AND DOWNS. 

" The mistakes of my life are many, 
The sins of my heart are more ; 
And I scarce can see for weeping, 
Yet I '11 enter the open door." 

But before this came about I had a long 
and trying probation. I found work in the 
Ferry Company. There I was tempted, and 
drank again. My good friend, the mission- 
ary, had left the city, the meetings were given 
up, and I felt lonely and sad. I had not then 
connected myself with any church. 

Maria was out of the city, and I felt I 
must go and see her. I took Sunday for the 
visit, though conscience told me I was doing 
wrong. It was a cold, snowy day. I went 
in the stage, and when we reached the half- 
way house all the passengers got out and 
drank. They looked at me as they were 
taking their hot whiskey, seemingly with 



56 TRANSFORMED. 

pity, as though I could n't afford to buy. My 
pride was touched. I went up to the bar and 
asked for sarsaparilla. The man handed me 
a gin-bottle and glass. There was an inward 
conflict, and I grieved the Spirit. 

Coming back from my visit, I lost the 
stage, and had to put in at a hotel. There 
the devil made me drink again. I could only 
think of the house " empty, swept and gar- 
nished," where the unclean spirit had dwelt. 
" Then goeth he, and taketh with himself 
seven other spirits more wicked than himself, 
and they enter in and dwell there; and the 
last state of that man is worse than the first." 
The unclean spirit had come back into my 
heart with his unholy companions, and I was 
in a sad plight. 

I went out of the hotel and went straight 
to a church which was open. I sat down, 
and though I was drunk, I seemed conscious 
of what was going on. I was very angry 
with myself, and cursed God. I said, " I '11 
never go back to Water street, to disgrace 



UPS AND DOWNS. 57 

God and the good people there." I made up 
my mind I would kill myself. 

I went out from the church and took the 
cars for home. What a day I had spent. 
My brain was on fire. My heart was cast 
down. My conscience was sore. Yes, I 
thought again, " I will kill myself." I made up 
my mind to let myself down from the plat- 
form and let the cars go over me. But the 
conductor was there and pushed me in. While 
I was watching my opportunity the Holy 
Spirit came to me, and my heart was soften- 
ed. The next night I went to a meeting, 
confessed my sin, and asked Christians to 
pray for me, and I prayed myself that God 
would forgive me. 

I fell again once after that, but God re- 
stored me. All this time I kept up the use 
of tobacco, and that created a thirst in me. 
And I didn't belong to any church, and so 
had no Christian influence to hold me. But 
soon after that I joined a Methodist church 
on probation, and that strengthened me. 



58 TRANSFORMED. 

I had another trial. I was required to 
work on Sunday. I told my employer I was 
not only reformed, but trying to lead a Chris- 
tian life. 

" Jerry," said he, " you are no better than 
I. I am a Christian man, but I have to work 
on Sunday, and you must too. I want you 
to come to-morrow to work." 

But I felt it was wrong, and did not go. 
On Monday morning I was discharged. I 
felt badly, for he was a church-member, and I 
a poor weak beginner in the Christian life. 

" Never mind," said my boss, trying to 
console me ; " you go to work and I guess it 
will be all right." 

" No, I wont," said I ; " I will trust God." 

But I would not leave until I had seen 
my employer. I found him leaning over the 
side of the ferryboat. I tapped him on the 
shoulder. 

" Captain C," said I, " have you discharged 
me for wishing to keep the Sabbath?" 

He made no answer, but I knew he had 



UPS AND DOWNS. 59 

heard me. I tapped him on the shoulder 
again. 

" Captain C, have you discharged me for 
trying to do right ?" 

" Jerry," said he, " you have n't accommo- 
dated me, and I can't accommodate you." 

" Good morning," said I, and walked away. 



6o TRANSFORMED. 



CHAPTER XIV. 

WORK FOR THE MASTER. 

" If you cannot sing like angels, 
If you cannot preach like Paul, 
You can tell the love of Jesus, 
You can say, ' He died for all.' " 

I went on some time without work ; then 
my friend the missionary came back, and 
introduced me to Mr. H., a rich gentleman in 
the city. Mr. H. shook hands with me, and 
told me to keep on doing right, always to 
keep God's commandments, and when I was 
in want to come to him. The shake of his 
hand and his encouraging words built me up. 
I did n't care for his money, but his kindness 
put new life into me. 

Soon after this I got a job of work, was 
led into scenes of temptation, and fell again. 
But this was the last time. I resolved to give 
up tobacco went into a Christian family who 



WORK FOR THE MASTER. 61 

found employment for me, and I gave myself 
wholly to God. 

And here let me say a word about tobacco. 
I consider it a great stumbling-block in any 
Christian's life ; but when a man has reformed 
from drinking, the use of tobacco is positively 
fatal. It will surely bring him back to his 
cups. If I had given it up when I gave up 
rum, I believe I should have had none of 
those fearful falls which I have described. I 
was led at last, by the grace of God, to do the 
clean thing — to give up every sinful habit, and 
from that time Jesus has kept me. 

After a time my work ceased, but the money 
I had saved lasted me some time. When I 
got to the last five dollars, I went into my 
room and prayed most earnestly for work, and 
before I came out I felt the assurance that 
my prayer was answered. In a few days a 
situation was offered me in the Custom House 
for four dollars a day. But there I preached 
Jesus too much, and was soon turned away. 

Then I got steady employment in another 



62 TRANSFORMED. 

place, where also I testified for Jesus. I had 
been there only a little while before a com- 
panion began to swear. I reproved him. 

" We can get along without swearing," 
said I. 

" What !" said he, " are you a churchman ?" 

" No, I am a Christian, or trying to be 
one," I replied. 

So I was spotted among the workmen, and 
pointed out as one of the " hypocrites." One 
man, a German, I was permitted to lead to 
Christ. 

One day I had a sort of trance or vision. 
I was singing at my work, and my mind be- 
came absorbed, and it seemed as if I was work- 
ing for the Lord down in the Fourth ward. 
I had a house, and people were coming in. 
There was a bath, and as they came in I 
washed and cleansed them outside, and the 
Lord cleansed them inside. They came at 
the first by small numbers, then by hundreds, 
and afterwards by thousands. 

Before I came out of this vision I was in 



WORK FOR THE MASTER. 63 

tears. Then something said to me, "Would 
you do that for the Lord if he should call 
you? Would you do it for Jesus' sake?" 
And I answered, " Yes, Lord, open the way, 
and I will go." I felt that I could go down 
there where I had always lived. I was used 
to the filth and misery, the drunkenness and 
Romanism, and I felt no reluctance to con- 
tend with it. I verily believed I should be 
called to it. 

A little while after that my health gave 
way, and I took a vacation. I went with my 
wife to Sea Cliff to attend the camp-meeting. 
All the time the thought of this work was 
pressing upon me, and I prayed God to open 
the way for me to present the subject. He 
gave me the opportunity. From there I went 
to Sing-Sing camp-ground, and presented it, 
and afterwards to Ocean Grove. Many were 
interested in the proposed work, and gave me 
in larger or smaller sums, until I held in trust 
four hundred and fifty dollars. 

Then the Lord opened the way for me to 



64 TRANSFORMED. 

begin the work in a small way at 3 1 6 Water 
street, next door to where the John Allen 
meetings had been held. The house was in 
the hands of an aged missionary, but the 
evening meetings were very small. The 
City Mission and Tract Society, at the sug- 
gestion of one of their friends, put the house 
at our disposal. We went in October, 1872, 
laid out the four hundred and fifty dollars in 
cleaning and repairing the house, and opened 
the place as a resort for the forlorn way- 
farers and sailors who frequented the locality, 
and put up the sign, " Helping Hand for 
Men," which has been the guide-board to 
bring many a poor soul to the foot of the 
cross. 



WORD OF TESTIMONY. 65 



CHAPTER XV. 

WORD OF TESTIMONY. 

" Hallelujah ! 't is done ! 
I believe on the Son ; 
I am saved by the blood 
Of the Crucified One." 

No one need supjpose that I could under- 
take and go on in such a work without oppo- 
sition. My relatives, and my wife's also, were 
Romanists, and were greatly displeased with 
us. One of my sisters came to talk with me. 
I tried to convince her of the truth from the 
Scriptures. I told her there was no other 
name given under heaven whereby men can 
be saved but the name of Jesus. I could not 
convince her, nor she me, so she went to one 
of the priests about it. 

"I am a converted Protestant," said he, 
"and know both sides, and I will soon fix 
him." 

My sister wanted me to go with her to 
9 



66 TRANSFORMED. 

see him. I had no desire to go for the sake 
of argument, but for her sake I said I would, 
to show her too that I was not afraid. She 
could n't read, and did n't believe what I had 
told her of the Bible. "But," said I, "the 
priest is a learned man, and he will know that 
I speak the truth." My wife went with us, 
and a niece who had been brought up in a 
convent, and was very bigoted and bitter 
asrainst the Protestants. 

o 

"You have come here to be convinced of 
your errors," said the priest, as we seated our- 
selves in his room. 

" I did," said I, " if you can convince me 
from the Bible. Excuse me one moment, 
father; do you believe it to be an inspired 
book?" 

" Certainly." 

" Do you believe this of the Protestant 
Bible?" 

" Certainly ; there is but little difference." 

" I am glad you feel so, to start with," I 
said. 



WORD OF TESTIMONY. 67 

" You will allow the Catholic church to 
be the first," he said to me. 

" Yes, if you leave the Roman out," I an- 
swered. But he took no notice of that. 

"Christ said," he went on, "that the 
gates of hell should not prevail against his 
church. Now if the gates of hell have pre- 
vailed, Christ was a liar." 

That sounded hard, and I felt that my 
Master was insulted, but I kept quiet. 

■ " I want to show you," he said, " that the 
gates of hell have not prevailed. The first 
church was made up of the twelve apostles. 
One of these was a traitor; but the gates 
did n't prevail then, and have n't since. Have 
you ever read the history of Rome ? Well, 
they were fearfully wicked in Luther's time. 
They themselves acknowledged that the 
church was corrupt and needed reformation. 
But still the church did not go down. Do 
you believe Luther was a good man ? He 
could not have been, for no man is good who 
breaks his vows," 



68 TRANSFORMED. 

" A bad vow is better broken than kept," 
I said ; but he did not reply to that. 

" Do you believe in the Mass ?" he asked. 

" No ; I never read of the Mass or Con- 
fession in the Bible. It is a most degrading 
thing to bow down before a fellow-man to 
worship him." 

" You are not required to do that. We 
take the sins on us, and stand between you 
and God." 

" Then you stand in the place of Christ. 
Now God says, ' Go into your closet, and 
pray in secret, and he will reward openly.' 
Isn't prayer the same thing with confession?" 

He owned that it was, but said, " Does not 
James say, 'Confess your faults one to an- 
other' ?" 

" Yes," said I, " that is just what we do 
in our prayer-meetings. When we have been 
led into sin we say so, and repent and come 
to Jesus, and testify of his willingness to 
receive us." 

11 Well, that *s right." 



WORD OF TESTIMONY. 69 

" And "now," said I, " while we are on this 
point, you have as good a right to confess to 
me as I have to confess to you. ' Confess to 
one another,' the Bible says. Then what do 
you do with these verses : ' There is none 
other name given under heaven among men 
whereby we can be saved,' and, ' There is one 
mediator between God and man, the man 
Christ Jesus' ? You presume to be the medi- 
ator. You take my sister's sins, for instance, 
on yourself, you say, and bear them to God." 

Then I told him my experience. " I have 
been a drunkard and a thief, one of the wick- 
edest men that ever lived. I haye been in 
stateprison, and yet this Jesus, who is despised 
in your church, has picked me up out of the 
gutter, lias washed and cleansed and saved me. 
But you say all the Protestants will be damned." 

" Oh, no," said he, " no ; I believe that 
every good Protestant will go to heaven ; but 
the turn-coats they will surely be lost." 

" My sister can tell you what a bad man 
I was, and what has been done for me. Aq- 



70 TRANSFORMED. 

cording to your theory this is just to fit me 
for hell, and it must be the work of Satan." 
" Satan often becomes an angel of light." 
" Then he certainly has become a friend 
to me. But no, that is not so; I am not a 
slave of Satan, I am a free man. Jesus has 
set me free, as the Bible says he will do for 
every one that believes in him." 
"We don't follow the Bible." 
" What do you follow ?" 
" The traditions of the church." 
" I did n't come here to argue, Father G., 
but to convince my sister of the truth. I am 
not afraid of the priest. The Lord has open- 
ed my eyes. Your people are afraid of you. 
You will lie to benefit the church ; but God 
has said, ' All liars shall have their part in the 
lake that burnetii with fire and brimstone.' " 

I talked fearlessly and faithfully to him. 
My heart was full of peace and joy, and I be- 
lieve the Lord that night fulfilled his word, 
and made the weak and foolish things to con- 
found the wise. 



A HELPMEET IN THE LORD. 71 

CHAPTER XVI. 

A HELPMEET IN THE LORD. 

" Working, O Christ, with thee, 

Working with thee, 
Unworthy, sinful, weak, 

Although we be ; 
Our all to thee we give, 
For thee alone would live, 
And by thy grace achieve, 

Working with thee." 

I feel that a word about my wife, and the 
way in which she was led to Christ, will be 
appropriate here. She too was the fruit of 
Water street mission-work, and I am sure 
that my work at the Helping Hand would 
not be half so successful as it is without her. 
She is truly a helpmeet from the Lord to me. 
She was, like myself, a Romanist, brought 
up in superstition and bigotry. When she 
grew up she was obliged, like thousands of 
others, to earn her own living, and for that 
purpose came to the city. Here she was ex- 



72 TRANSFORMED. 

posed to temptation on every side. She went 
into worldly pleasures, as young people are 
apt to do, and before long acquired a love for 
the intoxicating cup. About the time of my 
conversion she was invited into the John Al- 
len Mission. She attended the meetings, but 
the gospel invitations she heard did not seem 
to do her any good. They fell upon her ear, 
but that was all. They sounded to her, as 
she often says, like an unknown tongue. 
And yet they were not altogether new, for 
they called up to her memory things she had 
heard in her childhood, when she had been a 
member of a Protestant Sunday-school. And 
here, I think, is encouragement for Christian 
people to bring in such children into their 
Mission Sunday-schools, even if they do be- 
long to another faith. 

The mission-workers labored with Maria 
very kindly and faithfully, but still she was 
not converted. She did, however, promise 
to give up drinking, and after a while was 
persuaded to leave the city, and to take a 



A HELPMEET LN THE LORD. 73 

situation in a Christian family in the country. 
Her friends hoped that in this way, by leaving 
the places of temptation, and living among 
good people, she would be brought to choose 
the right way. Here she was taught in reli- 
gious things, attended family worship, and 
read the Bible, but still her heart was not 
reached. 

After several months she left this home 
for another. This too was a Christian family, 
and she had the same privileges, and here it 
was that suddenly the truths of the gospel 
were revealed to her. They came to her, 
just as. knowledge seems to open to a little 
child, we do n't know how, only we find, when 
we are not looking for it, that the child knows. 
Her blind eyes in an unexpected moment 
were touched, and she saw; her deaf ears 
were unstopped, and she heard. The way of 
salvation opened before her, and the words 
she had so often heard, and which had slip- 
ped off from her, like water from a rock, were 
all at once full of life and power. They took 



74 TRANSFORMED. 

hold of conscience and heart; the lessons of 
her childhood came to her with a meaning 
they had never had, and she believed on the 
Lord Jesus Christ, and was saved. 

When Jesus was revealed to her she re- 
ceived him gladly, and gave herself wholly to 
him. It was no half-way work with her. Her 
faith was childlike, her love simple and ear- 
nest. She at once received power to lift her 
out of the bondage of sinful appetite, and her 
soul was possessed with a love for sinners, and 
a desire to lead others to the same precious 
Saviour she had found. She could not rest 
day or night for the longing she had to tell 
the glad story of her salvation. 

She came back to the city and entered on 
missionary work, as a Bible-reader in the em- 
ploy of some Christian ladies in the Fourth 
ward. She found easy access to tenement- 
houses, liquor saloons, and dens of infamy, 
and in every place testified of the grace of 
Christ, and besought sinners to behold the 
Lamb of God who taketh away the sins of 



A HELPMEET IN THE LORD. 75 

the world. Many listened, forsook their evil 
ways, and came to Jesus, who are living wit- 
nesses for the Lord to-day. 

I bless God that he permitted us to be 
united, and to work together in the Helping 
Hand; and I hope God will let us live a 
great while to labor for souls. We find it 
sweet to work for him, and though we know 
we are in ourselves very weak and helpless, 
and prone to mistakes, yet we trust in the 
Lord, and feel that his precious blood is ap- 
plied every moment to cleanse and save us. 
Glory be to Jesus ! 



76 TRANSFORMED. 



CHAPTER XVII. 

PRESENT SAL VA TION. 

" ' Hold the fort, for I am coming,' 
Jesus signals still ; 
Wave the answer back to heaven, 
' By thy grace we will.' " 

By the kindness of some Christian friends 
in the city, a dinner was prepared on Thanks- 
giving day, soon after we took possession of 
the Mission-house. Bountiful provision was 
made, and the needy and outcast freely invi- 
ted. The day closed with a religious service, 
and the Holy Spirit was poured upon the as- 
sembled company. It was a time long to be 
remembered ; and under its solemn influence 
the Lord put it into our hearts to appoint a 
similar meeting for the next evening. From 
that time to the present, now more than three 
years, the humble chapel of the Helping Hand 
has been opened and lighted every evening 
for a gospel service. Hundreds of souls have 



PRESENT SAL VA TION. 7 7 

been converted to God in this hallowed spot. 
The Lord has truly honored the place and 
the work. 

The meetings are led by Christians of va- 
rious denominations in New York and Brook- 
lyn, and it is wonderful how the workers have 
been blest of God in their earnest effort to do 
good to others. I am on the spot all the time 
with my wife, and our work is by no means 
confined to the evening service. Multitudes 
of poor, sinful ones come in during the day 
for help and counsel. We point them to 
Jesus, the great Physician and Helper of 
body and soul, and many a one has it been 
our pleasure to lead to the fountain opened 
for sin and uncleanness. 

But my vision is not yet fully realized. 
The house of the Lord, with the bath, the 
chapel, and all the furnishings which I saw, 
has not yet been given. It is the dearest 
hope of my life to see it. I pray daily that 
the Lord will provide the means to put up 
just such a building, for it is needed in this 



jS TRANSFORMED. 

Fourth ward, as a refuge and safe harbor for 
the poor souls tossed up and down on the 
billows of sin and misery. And I have faith 
to believe that in God's own good time it will 
be accomplished. 

Meanwhile we are watching for souls, 
humbly trusting in the grace of God and the 
gift of his Holy Spirit, which alone can draw 
them out of the bondage of Satan into the 
liberty of children of God. 

This short sketch of my life I now lay as 
an offering on Gods altar. I have told 
enough of my sin to magnify the riches of 
divine grace which reached out the hand of 
love and gently drew me in from the depths 
of iniquity into his loving favor. My prayer 
is, that the story of what Jesus has done for 
me may encourage other sinners to trust in 
him for the same glorious, free salvation. 

And now unto Him who loved us and 
washed us from our sins in his own blood, 
to him be glory and dominion for ever and 
ever. Amen. 



M2 



